can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
