If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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