R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
