Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
