Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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