just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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