Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
