Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
