similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
