Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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