i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
