girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you inspire me to be a worse person
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
