Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
