ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
