lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize