We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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