"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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