He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She's the barista slut.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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