Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
