Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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