Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
