it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
