I need help removing her.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
