You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
