Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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