i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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