do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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