id be glad to
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
