With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
