Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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