I swear she didn't look like that last week.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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