Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize