Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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