The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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