U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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