he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
