She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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