Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
