yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
