I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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