I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
