If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize