I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
