dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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