In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize