I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
