In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
