OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My vagina is very pro this idea
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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