Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
vagina is talking i cant
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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