this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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