also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
