The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize