brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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