Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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