I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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