she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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