My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
and she was petting her beer can
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize