I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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