I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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