Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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