The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
