Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
