Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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