Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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