Are we in a gay sports bar?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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